Stanley 1986-92 Batch mates..

Stanley 1986-92 Batch mates……..

Well, back to what’s in WhatsApp where few of us may not like what I am blogging about!

I left for United Kingdom in 1994, a couple of years after I completed my internship and graduation; from SMC, to do PLAB, where I eventually stayed till 2013, until I relocated to Singapore, with my family.

This is just to register my views with respect to the Stanley group 1992 (actually should be 1986 batch) activities, with regards to, WhatsApp.

Well, whatever is happening now with our classmates in Chennai and around the globe for the past few months has been nothing new for us, our batch mates, who had settled in the UK over the past 20years. I am not sure about our batch mates in United States, as I was told many times by our friends in US, that the geography of US doesn’t help them to meet often, let alone find a suitable time for a sparse phone conversation!  Not to forget about the availability of internet and emails during the last century and last decade.

However, in UK, we had the motivation, proud to say, time and effort to meet as often as possible for a friendly chat, for a family feast or for booze filled binge night with recurrent trips down the nostalgic reminiscing lane. And to be honest, most of the gatherings happened in and around Manchester at our Homes, as most of us were trainees in early 2000, and later settled in and around Greater Manchester to become Mancunians.  I am sure Bala, Hari, Arun , Chandrasekhar and few others, who are currently in UK would vouch for the same and am also glad that spirit is still actively going on, as it  then used to be.

Folks like Raju and Sudhakar, who were living well away from Manchester, used to join us now and then , however  a few were left out as they were busy with their life and ambitions and hence drifted  off the batch mate’s stream. However, now to my surprise, I, find most of them, now in the general forum under our WhatsApp group, which itself a welcome sign. Few of them are yet to be located and possibly hiding out due to various reasons and one among them may be social shyness. 

I am also aware that meantime, few groups in Chennai, were meeting regularly; however only during the past few years. Nonetheless it is also a fact that our juniors from SMC were doing far better than us, our own batch mates in UK, when it came to batch meets and gatherings!

So, my question is why there was an apparent lull, during the past 15 years and what has changed now? Well, I may or you may already have an answer or find an answer soon, but why …… lull?

I know few friends who never bothered to contact our fellow batch mates during these past Twenty years, , though they were all living under the same roof of Chennai, T Nadu or India.  Well, did we not have land lines, phone calls and or e-mail available during these past 10 years? Yet, I am surprised to find that until 2010, our classmates in Chennai and T Nadu, India didn't have the time or possibly the motivation to be in touch with one another, even for friendly bait or a chat, or for family gatherings with some pot luck meal, leave alone cooking for an extended family. This is true as far as I know which we may very well disagree.

Well, the answer I got then was that we don’t find or have time!!Nobody bothered! 

I see lots of excitement currently in our batch’s WhatsApp chats, as if we are the fresher’s of the 1986 batch in Stanley and as if the entire universe bubble is shrinking to collapse tomorrow rather than expand and burst few million years down the pipe line!! Where we were all these time with our bottled up emotions daring to come out? Were we so busy with our married and family lives? Was marriage a distraction and what’s changed now? Are our spouses in our opinion are now far more matured than what they were 15years ago or have they now become invalids and so we don’t give a damn?

Or is it because of what had happened to our batch during the penultimate year of our graduation, that we became so apart though were so close for all these years?

Well, I am also not sure whether we extend the same WhatsApp emoji’s to our wives, husbands, kids, parents or other folks at home and near, at least every other week, which we flash out every second of our lives nowadays to our newly found batch mates with our newly found time and may be also to few other groups. Answer:  maybe we do the same to our folks at home but once again through what’s app!

Is it due to lack of time or too much of spare time now? It’s a paradox isn't it?

Not to forget many ladies and gentleman in our batch, who never gave a damn, neither uttered a word nor even passed a casual glimpse of well-intended kind look, to the opposite sex, during all those six years at the college! Leave alone the fledglings amongst us with no gender bias, who even couldn't manage to lift their eyebrows above the shoulder level to admire the opposite sex, because of our inherent inadequacies, one way or the other! So, what’s changed now?

What's App??

It’s either our inhibitions have gone astray for good or we feel so secure, now  in ourselves,or maybe we have nothing to lose, whilst the infamous inferiority and superiority complexes either waned or waxed in size to become one and another with a fresh perspective  at humanity! May be also our egos dwindling back in shape now, as we possibly had seen what’s life  is all about during the past 20 years? Or else the nostalgic six best years of our life in 1980’s is so unforgettable and in-erasable, from our life and memories that, suddenly we aspire for more?

As,I had mentioned earlier, Agathin Thanimai, (soul loneliness) behind every human being, opens at some point in our life, given the opportunity, looking for an opening, try to unbolt and find the alternatives. May be it is not uncommon to do what we are doing now a day, every hour, minute and second!

Or we all so happy in our life, so contented with self and the family, to flick through the smart phone at least 50-100 times a day, i.e., around 2-3 minutes each, spending 2-4 hours of our wake time, a day, Face booking and  WhatsApp - ing and at times with subtle flirting as an agenda, either knowingly or unknowingly!

Did we not have the maturity to do these bonding attempts during all these 15 years or we lacked the guts or the opportunities to do even a bit of what we are doing now on what’s app or FB? Or else, can we confidently say, no; we have been truly like this for all these years, albeit selectively to a different groups at different times of our lives and now the priorities changing, focus shifting, we have more time to be in touch, selfishly or unselfishly, with my mates, who also have been languishing, voluntarily or involuntarily incarcerated, with their own priorities, attentions?

Or else, we all must be thinking and wondering, as I suspect, that it’s just a time passing exercise; dude, don’t take me seriously attitude? Were we so selfish; so ambitious, so self-centered all these time? Have all we been hypocrites turned ourselves, now, into human beings with a subtle agenda to improve our self being and fellow human beings, suddenly and guiltless in the process?

I also see a lot like, who helped whom, in What’s app forum; a sudden urge of thanksgiving, guilt laden  exercise and to be honest,I am surprised that considering, that we don’t even nowadays acknowledge and reciprocate those virtues anymore, to our helpful friends, what is the newborn need to display it on WhatsApp, our newly acquired virtue?

Well, how many of us are now going to invite each other, at least few batch mates with their families, may be monthly for a casual dinner to our places, over next few months, with no strings attached, to spend some quality time, cooking and feeding ? If we are already in it, fine and good and if not ……please can we change for good and start practicing what we preach? Well, Humanity goes beyond WhatsApp chats and batch meets, in my opinion. No need to be pretentious. There is more to life than mere skin scratching with WhatsApp and hence let us get deeper beyond the skin and understand the values of being an human being cherish humanity.

Hence, my sincere wish for our friendly batch would be, that we be able to do this humbly, decently, in any forum or a social network app, at least for the next 20 years, so be in touch with our fellow human batch mates beings, unlike our child with a newly found gadget and excitement; and back to what we were good at!

(I am certainly ready for few bouncers now!!)