Stanley- Scunthorpe - Singapore!
March 1994
“Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are”- Bertolt Brecht .
It’s been 25 years, this March, since I & we (three of us) left Madras (Chennai), for UK.
The trip and the path was surcharged with loads of emotions; momentous; humongous; tears; uncertainties; half-baked preparations; rumors; anecdotes; stories; magic; surrealism; Hari; Ganesh; excitement; palpitations; anxiety; neighbor’s envy; owners pride; sabotages; insults; diffidence; hatred; blessings; gifts; bags; Rs 100 ; token monies; well-wishers; friends; families; scary English; scarier Hindi- Delhi; crew cuts; shaven mustache; parliament house; Connaught place; MP's quarters; Indian racial profiling ; Delhi airport; new found freedom; concerns for money; bravery; virtuoso; leather jackets; suits for the first time; leather shoes; T- shirts; London; East Ham; disappointments; surprises; bewilderment; clarity; failures; more failures; temple food; mean; people; temples; gods; churches; milk shakes; ala carte burgers; Trafalgar square; East ham; Caledon road; home sickness; expensive BT calls; letters; tears; culinary expertise; chef; Alcohol; Bacardi; seniors; parties; west hams; Black friars; Apothecaries; PLAB; Scunthorpe; back stabbers; more failures; networking; safe havens; Appa’s untimely death; bereavement; depression; ? suicidal; more failures; Scunthorpe; clinical attachment; John Major; video cassettes; Cd’s; god sent souls; new gates; new life; new women (!) ; new men; snow; success; PLAB exams; Blair; oasis; Scotland; driving lessons; locums; Nissan white bird; MP3; Tony Blair; success; sterling; pounds; networking; new jobs; locum works; Wales, England and Liverpool.
‘when you travel your first discovery is that you do not exist’- Elizabeth Hardwick.
Scunthorpe; racial awareness; diffidence; racial insults; racism; social equity; awareness; failed superficial- romances; blondes; brunettes; red hair; Afro- Caribbean’s; queen; Charles; Diana; rentals; compact cameras; clubs; Bacardi, bull shitting; Scotches; blended; single malts ; night clubs; pubs, first car; minor and major scuffs; travel; scenery; beauty and beasts; Amma’s visit; Stafford; Birmingham; Surround systems; more friends; rekindling old romance; marriage; Diana’s death; Elton john; soccer; miscarriages; DVD’s; PC’s ; misers; generous; meanest; mean; MRCP; pregnancy; Isle of Wight; Nila; millennium baby; Specialist registrar; hospitals; Wimbledon; cricket; Stockton, ; Middlesborough; Bury; Stockport; Salford; Bolton; interviews; Bolton; own house ; Manchester; badminton; Deepavali; Pongal; Gordon Brown; iPad; new year; again and again and Deja’ vu .
“Don’t try to hold on to the wave that’s breaking against your foot: so long as you stand in the stream, fresh waves will always keep breaking against it”- Bertolt Brecht
Christmas; Mancunian; friends; fiends; fun; Mukil; more relatives; friends; schools; confident; rain; more rain; conservatories; barbecues; radio; LCD TV; damp; cold; spring; Falls; harsh winters; Tamil movies; English movies; east ham; temples; Birmingham temple; Durham cathedral; London; conferences; BGS; travel; cricket; movies; investment; local; abroad; comfort; quality; deaths; Geriatrics; Consultant; two cars; France; Bolton; Belgium; Ireland; Germany: Holland; Italy; UAE; twists; fate; nostalgia; trysts; planning; emotions and disappointments.
” We are not alive to be alone on the planet. We are alive to share, to eat together and love together and cry together. If you can never love because you will always lose, what reason is there to live?”- Jackie Kay, Reality, Reality
Virtue; high maintenance; low maintenance; arrogant; wealthy; healthy; upfront; righteous; back stabbing; opportunistic; more stabbers; India visits; relatives; gifts; mean; meaner; meanest; selfish; selfless; Gordon Brown; Labour; conservatives; David Cameron; palpitations; tears; uncertainties; half-baked preparations; expectation voids and vacuums; planning; families; send offs; fare well parties; rumors; neighbor’s envy; owner’s pride; fright; containers and I eventually arrived back in Chennai in 2013 for good, after exactly 19 humongous years; however, this time en -route to Singapore, to start again!
A shatteringly present past?
Tis down in yonder garden green,
The finest flower that ere was seen
Is withered to a stalk
The stark is withered dry, my love,
So will, our hearts decay:
So make yourself content, my love,
Till God call you away.
----- Ali Smith, in Artful
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