Vanakkam Doctor !

I am a Brahman – (an abridged and altered version of “Untouchable”) “There is none superior, hence, do not venerate and certainly there is none inferior; thus, do not desecrate”  - Tamil poet kaniyan (circa, 2500BC). You all know that, I was an untouchable at birth; a casteless, so called Hindu outcaste. Afterbirth, I became a Sutra, as my parents said so, and currently am a Brahman, as I said to myself.I was full of filth and had to be cleansed and washed by a midwife and few others too, sufficiently baptized, in the name of Father, Son and Holy spirit, before my parents could even attempt to cling on me; deprecatingly , though I am currently a Brahman, am still full of filth, guilt, angst, sins, hypocrisy, jealousy etc. etc. I am always in need of a wishful, joyful, Soulful and soulless, mental, and physical cleansing with a regular, detox ever since my birth and am acutely and chronically aware of it. Here you go, I was born untouchable and physically nowhere, 50 y...

March 1994 “Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are”- Bertolt Brecht . It’s been 25 years, this March, since I & we (three of us) left Madras (Chennai), for UK. The trip and the path was surcharged with loads of emotions; momentous; humongous; tears;  uncertainties; half-baked preparations; rumors; anecdotes; stories; magic;  surrealism; Hari; Ganesh; excitement; palpitations; anxiety; neighbor’s envy; owners pride; sabotages; insults; diffidence; hatred;  blessings; gifts; bags; Rs 100 ; token monies; well-wishers; friends; families;  scary English; scarier Hindi- Delhi; crew cuts; shaven mustache; parliament house; Connaught place; MP's quarters; Indian  racial profiling ; Delhi airport; new found freedom; concerns for money; bravery; virtuoso; leather jackets; suits for the first time; leather shoes; T- shirts; London; East Ham; disappointments; surprises; bewilderment; clari...

An ode to you both! Both are very down to earth. They were very humble with no added extra effort but good intellect, perhaps to guide them. Both can talk effortlessly for hours together about most of the current affairs which continues even now. I befriended one in 1986 as he was a day scholar and the other in early 1987, both from the same class as mine. I was jealous of both of them somewhere in the corner of my heart and mind. One of them, too rich by any standards with a great educational back ground (mother, a doctor, father a criminal lawyer) and other one father was a doctor, an RMO in Nilgiris; and ever more annoying. Nonetheless both knew their limitations; their measured and studious opinions on life and people made them very reliable. You can talk virtually about anything to them both and in fact I learnt a lot during those days listening to them; sharing my modest background with them, overcoming and neutralizing my inferiority complex...

I was born an untouchable to start with; hence was a casteless, so called Hindu. Later on I became a Sudhra and currently am a Brahman. I was full of filth and had to be cleansed and washed by a midwife before my parents could even attempt to cling on me; and am still full of filth, guilt, angst, sins, hypocrisy, jealousy and etc. Ever needing a wishful mental, and physical cleansing as well as a detox; here you go, I was born untouchable and physically nowhere 50 years ago and now I am everywhere! The imaginary hierarchy of Varnashram and casteism in Indian and Hindu /Non Hindu psyche in the Indian subcontinent came with the so called Aryan migration around 3500 years ago, along with Vedic civilisation and eventually spread everywhere across the sub-continent, and to the south 1500 years later. Homo sapiens first migrated to the subcontinent 60,000 years ago from Africa; may have from Southern Africa too, via the now submerg...

On a lighter note! Agenda; rules the roost in sapiens life on this planet. It’s obvious; there can be no selfless soul on this planet; none with not even a speck of agenda and that applies to all of us, including me. Interdependence is the rule of life. I provide charity because the act satisfies my ego and that’s the agenda. It’s the same with all charitable activities even if it is done discreetly; is it shameful ? Learning to say “No” is an art too. Never go back on your verdict and rue over it, once it is uttered. The initial suspicion and disbelief will not change even after you change your “No”. Think twice before NO; and none after No; thrice before yes; and none after yes. People change faster than Chameleons and when it cometh to money; lest forgive the poor creatures, we can even out shame them; putting those chameleons to shame in the process. Their attire changes; demeanor changes; I mean the people. Does writing give an impetus to brain? N...

T he way of order -------- ( Kaniyan Poongundranar, Tamil, Puranaanooru, 300-100 BCE This universe is mine! And I belong to everyone Me the good and me the bad Me the pain and me the cure, And I neither am anxious about death nor beseech joyous living As when grieved, we patiently endure; For we deem, This overstated fragile raft of ours, Borne down on waters that lightening procreates with dark thunderous sky Descends and dashes down on rocky boulders Reaches the plain and ocean; This Great life, turbulence and raft Shall all sail destination as ordained by way of order …………… Hence forth   I may say Neither may we marvel at the greatness of the great Nor shall certainly despise the low estate! யாதும் ஊரே யாவரும் கேளிர் தீதும் நன்றும் பிறர்தர வாரா நோதலும் தணிதலும் அவற்றோ ரன்ன சாதலும் புதுவது அன்றே , வாழ்தல் இனிதென மகிழ்ந்தன்றும் இலமே முனிவின் இன்னா தென்றலும் இலமே , மின்னொடு வானம் தண்துளி தலைஇ யானாது ...

Rest you on me. Your family makes a living, killing at sea And you by getting into my body, Because those big warm unnatural bosoms are struggling on the thinnest waist of yours, Rest your waist on me. Your father kills with his huge grizzly net, Nonetheless you kill with your huge eyes cast like a net, As your slender unpredictable waist, thin like a “lightening” struggling with the breast of yours, Rest your waist on me. Your family makes a kill, riding a boat, living at sea However you kill with those long arched eyebrows, And as your slim waist is withering away with those unexposed firm breasts of yours,  Rest you on me. (Silappathigaram, Kaanal vari, Tamil Epic, circa 100-200 CE, Ilango adigal)